How Strong Are You Now
by EVERanOptimist
Summary: Short story of Rob's thoughts on Jess' leaving.


Okay so this is a format I've never tried before so I'm not sure how I did. Please review and tell me what you think.:)

Disclaimer: I do not own 1800 Where R You or Rascall Flatts' song "How Strong Are You Now"

**When she told you goodbye, You didn't flinch**

Jess walked into the barn and sucked in a breath. You eyed her warily. "What's the matter Mastriani? Fed's being annoying again?" You managed a grin but it wasn't easy. Jess looked worried. Jess never looked worried unless it was a life-threatening situation. This didn't look too life-threatening so whatever this was it had to be big. As in a big deal that would affect you to but not life-threatening. You heard her tell you she was leaving. Leaving? What the hell did that mean? She finished explaining, she had to go to Iraq. Yeah that's right, fucking Iraq. Where she could _die_. You wanted to reach out and shake her. Make her listen to reason, to understand that she could die and that she should just stay home because at this point you weren't sure how you would react to her dying. All you knew was that it wouldn't be pretty. But you knew she wouldn't listen. She never did. So you did the next best thing. You jerked her toward you and slammed your lips on hers. She tensed and you pulled away but she put her arms around your neck and pulled you back down. Your lips kept moving against hers and you never wanted to stop. Because if she was here with you she wasn't in Iraq or Afghanistan and she was safe. But you knew it had to end.

**When she looked back You didn't even budge an inch You stood there like stone**

After a while- you're not exactly sure how long- you realized she needed to leave. You pushed her back. Her eyes opened after a split second, her cheeks flushed and you wanted to grin and kiss her again. But it all came crashing back down. She needed to leave and she was going overseas. To war. You told her she had to leave. She looked a little hurt so you expanded saying that her parents and the Feds would probably be looking for her soon, if they weren't already. You watched Jess leave. She was about to leave your line of sight when you called her name. She looked back, all hopeful, but you just told her to be careful. She agreed, hesitated a split second, waiting, then turned and kept going. You watched her leave.

**But now that she's gone How strong are you now Without her around**

Soon you realized what this meant. She was gone. In a war zone where you couldn't protect her like you had on previous psychic missions. She was gone. In a way, you were numb. You went to the garage in the morning, picked your mom up from work and worked on bikes in the garage at night. After a while, you decided that you would go to college, if only part time. That would show Mrs. Mastriani that you weren't just a worthless Grit. Your uncle decided to retire and he sold the garage to you. Your mom decided to move to Florida with Gary and you decided to buy the house. Things really seemed to be working out. You just had to wait for Jess to come back. And you waited and waited and waited.

**You can't even keep one little bitty tear From fallin' down Tell me how strong are you now**

Sometimes at night you dreamed about her. She was dying. Or she was with someone new. You would wake up and sometimes you were screaming. Sometimes you were tearing up and once or twice (though you would deny it later) you were out right sobbing. But that didn't happen very often.

**Before she left you told yourself It can't hurt that much Now you're doubled over Like you took a punch**

If someone had told you before that one day you would be in this much pain and worry because of one short girl with a quick temper you would have laughed and called them crazy. No way Jose. It would be a cold day in hell before Robert Wilkins needed anyone or anything besides some tools ,a bike and (as lame as it sounded) his mom. You supposed that Chick should count but you knew no matter what you did you couldn't get rid of him anyway. Kinda like rash. Or an infestation of mice that just keep coming back. Or something along those lines. Whatever. But the fact of the matter is that you needed her. You couldn't wait till she came home.

**No, she ain't coming back **

**Tell me how much can you take of that**

You couldn't believe it. Jess had been back. Then she'd left again. And this time she wasn't coming back. You'd been working at the garage. It had been your turn to work on Nancy's car. And you had even though you knew it was going to get awkward because Nancy had the nasty habit of kissing the mechanics who fixed her car. It was weird because it wasn't like they'd preformed a miracle fixing that car. It was only in the shop for bad handling. But whatever. More money for the garage which meant more income for you so you would deal. But apparently, that time Jess had been there. She'd seen Nancy kiss you and took off without seeing you push her off and tell her off. When you'd heard she was back you rushed off to see her, plans circulating through your head. Needless to say, her telling you to get the hell away from her had not been part of that plan.

**Tell me how strong are you now - yeah**

**How strong are you now - oh, oh**

That night wasn't so good. You'd headed down to Chick's and gotten a couple of drinks. You went back home and got hammered. Anything to make you stop fucking _thinking_ about her. It didn't work. You just saw her more and more clearly. And you stared out the window with a couple tears dripping out the corners of your eyes and hoped that maybe, if you gave her enough time, maybe you could find her and explain what had really happened. And if you could do that then maybe you could get together again. Maybe not all hope was lost. But until you could get your head together, until that day came you just stared out the window and took another long drink.

**What's that rule you live by**

**You say tough guys never cry**

**But how strong are you now **


End file.
